First Day

So I've been thinking a lot about life. I feel that I need an outlet for my thoughts. I have began to write music with my friend David, and I really like what I am hearing so far. Most of the stuff that I write is about girls and my journey on the road that is life. The funny think is that most the stuff will be about girls that I am not with. I like them but haven't taken the steps to make it anything. That seems to be a problem I have, not being able to act on my thoughts. I think into things way too much and it prevents me from being as happy as I could be. I'm going to end this post with what I posted on facebook yesterday.

"this started out as a song. but then ended up more like a poem. but still probably could be a song. its me having a conversation with myself. trying to figure some things out. its about feeling blue and sad and whatever even though the world is beautiful. its about not being able to open myself up to say what i need to say and letting moments past me by, or how i let girls past me by. i'm tired of being the guy who flirts with girls but finds it hard to take it past that. i'm trying to change myself. which im not sure if i really should. all these girls keep telling me that im a really nice/good guy...but that isnt doing much for me. its like the saying says "nice guys finish last" i told that to my mom the other day and her response was "hey, atleast they finish. some people dont even make it that far." that got me thinking. which can either be a really good thing..or a bad thing....but i do feel that change is coming. all i have to do is sort out some thoughts and act on what i find. im expecting big things from myself soon.. maybe some things i thought i would never be able to do.but i'm going to need some help to keep me down to earth and help me keep everything that im aiming for realistic. i feel like it wont be a problem. but i also cant tell the future.

so here is my poem now that ive given everyone the meaning to it.. but i hope you can find you own meanings in my words. "

conversation with myself

i say "hello,
how are you?
why are you looking so blue?
do you even have a clue?
A sunny day
has come your way.
so what are you gonna go do?
your day all depends on you."

you say "hello
i dont know
why im feeling so blue.
no i dont have a clue.
i'll live my life
the best i can
thats about all i can do
so what about you?"

i say "well
that is fine
all you have is time
and i'm doing quite fine.
i need to say
whats on my mind
the times have changed
yet the thoughts remain."

you say "ok
go ahead
open it all up for the world to see
you know that you can trust me
spill it out
have no regrets.
its not as easy as it all sounds
but peace is there to be found."

I say "see.
i dont know
if thats all me
that i see when i look at the mirror.
i seem to hold my self back
i dont want to
but i do.
is there anyway to help me
any way to set myself free?"