just a little bit

Today has pretty much been the same as any other day. Recently I have found myself to be a bit down. Money and things are the main reason. I've really been considering joining the Air Force. It makes so much sense in my head. I kinda feel like I've outgrown myself.....

What a great but long weekend

Well let me start with Friday night. Every other Friday me and a few people from work go out to eat to celebrate the pay day. Well this time one of my co-workers, Sarah, invited the girl from the coffee shop, savana, who I have a thing for. we went to saskatoons and I ate kangaroo. It was a bad place to invite Savana to because she is a vegetarian and this is a steak and wild game type of place. but she did seem to enjoy her meal. we then decided to go to a club. I told my parents that I was downtown eating ice cream and then going to wildwings, i did it because I knew that my mom wouldnt let me go if I told the truth. Well we go to the club, The Castle, and I found out that Sarah took me to a gay club, but it was fine because there were a bunch of straight people there and I was with Savana. We shot some pool, which i completely sucked at but that just gave me more topics to talk to savana about. Sarah and Savana began to drink, a lot. Savana and I danced a bit and then they had a drag show. We werent really paying attention to the drag show. During the drag show Savana looked back at me and sarah and said "i think justin needs a kiss" and then preceded to kiss me. we kissed again later on. I loved hanging with Savana, she is so cute when she has been drinking. Well we left the club at about 12:30 and went back to the coffee shop were we originally met. I decided to take Savana home since she lives close to me. On the way, she puked all over my car. She was quite embarrassed by this the next day, but I told her that it was fine, that it really didn't bother me. It really didn't.

The next morning, I felt like crap. I figured that it was my nerves because I had lied to my parents about where I was so I told my mom everything and everywhere that I was. The punishment that I received was that I cant do any unnecessary driving. That means I can only drive places that they tell me to, or work. I'm ok with that because I think I deserve worse than that. I went and saw Savana at Carolina Coffee Roasters 3 times that day.

I worked all day today, didnt go to Carolina Coffee Roasters because Savana had the day off. She leaves for England in 8 days and will be gone for about a month. I'm going to miss her a lot. Maybe I'll ask her out when she gets back since we have so much in common. I dont even have her phone number but she sees me as a good friend. I'll have to make sure to get on to that one tomorrow.

new happenings

I spent the morning chopping wood today. It was my form of meditation. It was so relaxing. It was just me and the wood. nothing else. I thought a lot about life. I dont really have feelings for Ashley anymore. I have began to grow fond of Savana, the girl that works at the coffee shop that I go to as much as twice a day. She is a very cool girl, and from what I can tell we have a lot in common. We spent a little while today talking about things and it all just seems to click. I was shy but I am beginning to get out of that. She was invited to go to dinner with us on friday by sarah. Sarah keeps telling me to ask he out and that she knows for a fact that she would way yes. I think that I might ask her to go with me to a show on Tuesday....hopefully she will say yes.

Been a bit lacking...

Its been a while old friend. It seems like yesterday that I created you to express to the world how I feel. But I neglected you, but no more shall it be like that.


I have been having a lot of mixed feelings. Whether it be in life, love, or about anything else that your mind might ponder upon. I've been feeling slightly confused on where I want to go with life. I dont feel motivated to work hard in school... i never do home work or study for tests. and i'm just barely getting by if i am getting by at all.

love is another question in my life. im not out searching for it. but there is this one girl that i like. problem is that she has a boyfriend, but they break up all the time and we flirt. her boyfriend told her that he is afraid that she deserves/will find someone better. im glad he recognizes that.