Seasons in our dreams

Been doing a lot of writing and a lot of thinking. But the thinking hasnt really lead to anything but my writing. So I am left of thoughts of why have these thoughts if I'm not going to do anything with them but write. So why not act on them? easier said than done. But maybe soon ill make it easier done than said. new writing that I wrote like 5 minutes ago. and its no where near complete.

"so there are some words
that ive been wanting to say
could we just sit here for a while?
the strength will come to me soon
its already all on its way.
i just need to tell you somethings
i can see it in your eyes
you're hoping for me to say
the words that you want to hear
what youve been waiting for.
I decide to make my move.
pulling myself closer to you.
I want to show you how i feel.
you want me to draw near.
The breaths grow deeper
as I try to pull the words out.
my thoughts get all jumbled
dont seem to come out right.
but you sit there quietly.
waiting still with a smile.
i stumble through my words
but you get the message
your feelings have been the same
you were just waiting on change
"

and another one. i had the first 4 lines written as part of a song. and as i started to type on here I kinda started writing more and turned it into a poem.

"when youre alone
what makes your life worth living?
the thought of past days
or the thought of whats to come?
so while youre thinking
im going to paint you a picture.
a so called silhouette of words.
let my emotions flow from my mouth.
and land on the palette of life.
mixing into many wonderful colors.
my brush is my best disguise .
i start with small strokes
focusing on the details and feelings
feelings such as love and hope
the colors are bright and vivid.
i make the last stroke
you look towards my painting
but all you see is a blank easel.
it makes you question my question
for there is no easy response.
you see, you paint your lifes picture
with what you do and what you say.
So paint a pretty picture for me
and for others to fully enjoy."


now that i have the writings out of the way, i feel a bit relieved. there is an underlying meaning to what they both mean. wish i had the strength to be straight forward about how i feel about things. but yeah. i make things complicated. maybe soon things will be uncomplicated. but for now. i hope you enjoyed my writings and maybe one of you who reads this will see the meaning to my words.
good night, and good luck.